Everybody's Gay Best Friend

Professional women can learn a lot from politicians.While some politicians may not be authentic communicators, most are masters in how to grab audiences’ attention. These politicians understand the importance of “flagging phrases.”

A female executive who I am coaching recently asked me if it was okay to use notes. “Absolutely,” I replied. “Have a happy.”

Here are three tips for using notes:

One: Carry your notes with you to the podium. If you are using cards, place those cards in one hand inconspicuously. If using sheets, place them in a folder with pockets and carry the folder.

Two: Do not hold notes when you speak. When possible place them on a small table or on the podium.

I bet Rex Harrison’s valentine box wouldn’t have been nearly empty, but then Rex Harrison wasn’t in the fifth grade at The Westminster Schools either.

Rex Harrison became my fifth grade role model after I saw him perform in the traveling show of My Fair Lady at Atlanta's “Theatre Under the Stars.”

The day following the play, I made an entrance into Mrs. Whitehead's homeroom wearing a gray wool cardigan, red felt vest with brass buttons, and bright blue polyester dickey. I thought I looked just like Rex Harrison's Professor Higgins. My fellow students were amused.

I’m sipping a martini at my favorite hotspot with one of my favorite girlfriends. She’s a stressed out mess. “I’m worn out, Randy,” she wails, “and things a slipping through the cracks.” My friend is a successful businesswoman, a devoted wife, and a loving mother.

“I don’t know how you do it all.” I sympathize.

“I don’t,” she replied. “I have to slight something or someone, and it’s usually me.”

I’m having a tough week. Perhaps you are too. When times are tough, it’s easy for me to slip into “if only...thinking.” If only…, I would be successful, happy, at peace, or whatever.”

Piero Ferrucci tells a wonderful story in his book The Power of Kindness: The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life. It goes like this:

Jackie Onassis had it, so did Pamela Harriman. LittlePinkBook.com’s CEO and founding editor Cynthia Good has it, too.

Charm can be a professional woman's secret weapon. With it, you can communicate with anyone. You can win others to your side.

Nothing is as important in developing charm as the ability to communicate with a person as if he or she was the only person in the room.

I have a girlfriend who is a self-described “blurter.” “I’m like a gumball machine—whatever pops in my head comes out of my mouth,” she says. She’s a very successful businesswoman, but she admits sometimes her blurting gets her in trouble.

I have several clients who share a similar affliction, and to be honest I’ve been known to blurt at times. I’m working to stop, pause, and think before I speak out.

One of your greatest assets as a professional woman is self confidence, and nothing erodes self confidence faster than a poor body image. Some surveys report that as many as four out of five women are unhappy with their body weight, and nearly half of normal sized women overestimate their size and shape.

Women aren’t the only ones who struggle with poor body image. I recently went right to the sale rack; I always do. It was the middle of winter, and the bathing suits were on sale. I grabbed a couple and headed for the dressing room.

A few years ago, I had a banner year for my business. I opened a Washington office, hired a public relations firm, rebranded myself, developed new products, and ultimately exceeded my ambitious financial goals. But by the end of the year, I was exhausted. Exhilarated by success and fueled with adrenaline, I kept going until the Universe said, “Enough!” Within a month, I got two speeding tickets. Instead of slowing down, I bought the best radar detector money could buy and had it installed in the car. Finally, I caught the flu after Christmas.

If you want to write stronger reports, speeches, and presentations take the advice of top journalists: don’t bury the lead.

Journalist, author, screenwriter, and funny woman Nora Ephron tells a wonderful story to illustrate this point. Many years ago, Ephron was in high school when the teacher asked the class to write a lead for this newspaper story: