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July 25, 2010
Got Networking Nerves?
 You'd never know it, but the founder and CEO of Effective Networking, Inc. is an introvert. Diane Darling published The Networking Survival Guide with the premise that everyone has the ability to network, they just have to discover their own way of doing it.
“People think about networking as event-driven, which can be intimidating,” Darling tells PINK. She suggests finding non-event ways to network and knows the benefits firsthand after striking up a conversation in a restaurant with someone who turned out to be the owner of the Miami Heat and CEO of Carnival Cruise lines.
Have trouble breaking the ice? “Start a conversation that begins with, ‘Tell me’,” advises Darling, adding that choosing a networking event should be a thoughtful
process. When there is a specific reason for attending an event, you’re more likely to network effectively, she says.
Don’t want to feel like the odd one out? Inviting others to these events may ease anxiety. “The number one reason people don’t go to more networking events is because they don’t want to arrive alone or stand alone,” says Darling. Experts suggest getting there early before groups form, which can be intimidating.
While women’s organizations are great for networking, Darling also advises attending events for those in your industry, your same level of employment as well as a fun group, like a book club, for relaxation without the stress of work.
Bonus PINK Link: You can be shy and still exude confidence. Here’s how.
By Malee Moua
"I was the shyest human being, but I had a lion
inside me that wouldn’t shut up!" Ingrid Bergman
*Supporting images from FreeDigitalPhotos.net, Michal Marcol, Master isolated images and Ambro.
 
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Comments
Networking and programming
Networking and programming has been adopted as career by many youngsters now. For them this blog is really helpful. You have tried to provide a very good intro on networking. Thank you for the great job. Keep sharing.
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Networking Nerves Unwound
As what I call a "closet extrovert" I can so relate to the Ingrid Bergman quote! I've learned a couple of networking tips over the years that have helped me:
1. Instead of waiting for someone to speak to you, greet everyone you see as though you were the hostess and they were guest to a party you had thrown. It empowers and emboldens you and helps you feel more in control.
2. In "Confessions of an Introvert", author Meghan Wier suggests inviting individual members of a group to meet one-on-one for coffee to get to know each other better. In these casual chats over a cup you build relationships and the next time you at a larger networking event you know you will have several people to talk with.
Networking
I disagree with your comment that inviting others to a networking event helps. The reason is that then you're going to be talking to this person and not really getting out there. Even though it's hard, the best thing is to go to a networking event alone and even though it's harder, simply walk up to people, introduce yourself and start a conversation. Everyone is there for the same reason and most business people are friendly and professional. I've made more significant contacts this way, I just needed to get out of my shell!
Networking with Friends
I agree with you, to a point. If you are really uncomfortable going to networking events it can help to bring a friend the first few times, just until you feel more at ease. This is especially helpful if the friend you bring is more comfortable networking and can introduce you to people or show you by example how to make connections.
To make sure you don't spend all your time talking with each other you can decide pre-event to each spend a certain amount of time talking to others, or to each make connections with a certain number of new people.
This is what I did when I first started going to my local Chamber's mixers. I brought a friend who is a savvy networker and learned from watching her work the room. Afterwards we'd go out for cocktails and have our chat time then. Now I'm comfortable enough to go on my own thanks to having that support when I needed it.