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January 4, 2012
Do Mean Girls Win?
 New research shows being too agreeable at work can adversely affect your paycheck, so the attitude that you have to be a “mean girl” to get ahead doesn’t seem to be losing steam.
“Disagreeable” women make nearly $2,000 more a year. And while male workplace bullies give women and men an equally hard time, women pick on women more than 70 percent of the time.
Is it worth it? And does this attitude really advance your career? Bernadette Boas, author of Shedding the Corporate Bitch, says no.
“There are so many women fighting for the same big-time jobs, and the corporate environment can breed this mentality if women don’t think they have what it takes,” she says.
“But using skills, talents and mindsets as opposed to being manipulative means you’ll be more successful in the long run.”
While more agreeable women earned less, studies show they were considered more effective and better candidates for management.
Christy Whitman and Rebecca Grado, authors of Taming Your Alpha Bitch, agree. “The tactics needed to get us where we are today definitely served their purpose, but they’re now holding us back,” says Whitman. They add that women who confuse forcefulness with true power ironically end up dis-empowering themselves and that it’s better to “command rather than demand.”
After channeling the “bitchy mindset” so often, “I was full of angst and attitude,” says Boa. To snap out of it, she didn't need sugarcoating. Rather, “I needed to be told this wasn’t going to get me where I wanted to go."
Some have a different interpretation of the data, saying "disagreeable" women may just be better negotiators – and there's nothing wrong with that.
Bonus PINK Link: The mean girl attitude could be hereditary. How to deal with the daughter of a narcissist in our online exclusive.
By Brittani Banks
“During assertion, we move toward another; during aggression,
we move against another.” Georgia Lanoil
*Supporting images from FreeDigitalPhotos.net, Stuart Miles and photostock.
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Comments
Interpretation of the "Bitchy Professional"
I find this to be an article that really appeals to my growth over the recent few years. I have always preferred to be easy-going, friendly (not necessarily agreeable) however, I never placed much stock in being the go-along person, the middle-of-the-road person or the person who acquiesces to keep everyone happy. No instead my personality is much more direct, open, adversarial yet passionate and collaborative to the end targeted result. However, the good and bad of my mentors is that they were driven, ball-buster women who at times could be the bull in the china shop. It was during these interactions that I learned as my mother would say, “that you can get more with honey than lemon” and I begin to adopt more of a not-so Bitchy professional and decided to play nicer in light of achieving the same or similar result.
I believe mean Girls Can Win but the effect of the “win” may be temporary. Nice Girls Can Win more and the impact may have a much spiritually healthier impact and could definitely be a valuable metric for managing a person’s overall impact corporate wide.
mean girl boss
I worked for a bully female boss. Her lies to cover up her inadequacies were amazing and I am suing her for harassment. She is no bonus for the company.
The article strikes a chord
I work in high technology companies in the silicon valley. These progressive companies not only innovate on the product level, but also on the cultural level. So many times, I am placed in an environment with high percentage of women (~50%) coworkers. That is when I sense the most stress. Women tend to be competitive towards each other, and the bullying happens toward each other. It is such a ironic fact compared to what I have been reading about women in the work place. The Alpha Bitch syndrome is prevalent and hard to take. I personally think there women can still be elegant and result-driven without being mean to each other. In the work place, everyone should strive to be treated equally and treat each other equally.
Mean Girl post
One of my favorite bosses and mentors (a woman) had a favorite saying, "Time wounds all heels." It's been decades since I first heard her say this phrase, but about twice a month I find myself sharing it (or reminding myself of it) because of a situation with a Mean Girl or -gendered jerk. Definitely being mean may get you to the front of the proverbial line in the short run, but in the long run you'll be standing alone in the dark if you use it as your daily M.O. to get what you want.